Articles

Our Kink Is Age Play – Podcast Five

In this episode we welcome back professional age player, kinkster, and little Marina Lee to discuss what defines age play, its place in the kink community, and how prevailing attitudes shape our perception of what is and isn’t acceptable both within and beyond the world of kink and fetish. The discussion begins, as it should, with an outline of what age play is, and the variety of roles that exist within the dynamic. We take a look at what the players actually get out of their kink and how the goal-setting exercises that often exist within age play can benefit other areas of the player’s life, and the place of age play within a broader range of D/s dynamics. We devote time to the controversy that has typically surrounded the idea of age play, and in doing so try to break down some of the misconceptions that exist even within…

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Creating Your Self-Care Repertoire

We all have days when we just can’t be bothered; we don’t want to eat, or shower, or answer the phone. We just want to stay where we are and mostly forget about the world. Decent self-care comes with self-awareness – there’s only so many days in a row we can stay in bed, watching Netflix and eating crap, and still honestly say ‘we’re just doing what we need to do to look after ourselves’. Obviously, the number of days will vary by individual and situation, but to look after ourselves, we need to be honest in acknowledging when we’re in an unhelpful routine. Sometimes these slumps hit after we’ve taken on too much and ‘burnt out’, sometimes we actively resist looking after ourselves as a form of self-punishment and devaluation. Some of us even neglect our self-care because we honestly think that we’re coping, with one decent meal a…

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Our Kink Is Sadomasochism – Podcast Four

This episode OurKink is sadomasochism and who better to join us for an unfiltered discussion of SnM than the incredible poly sadomasochistic top, Jilf. Known mostly for her sadistic topping, and repeated entries to FetLife’s ‘Kinky and Popular’ for images resulting from her play, Jilf chats to the OurKink team about her style of sadism, and her more recent explorations into the world of masochism. For our edgier kinksters, this is a truly unmissable episode!  

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The Snowflakes Fall On the Ever-Changing Landscape of Gender Language

In our community, we’re all pretty awesome at learning and using new terminology as it evolves, particularly when much of it defines our sexual and/or gender preferences. Relatively few of us identify as cis-gendered, and due to our receptivity to and curiosity for ‘the other’, it’s no surprise there is quite the banquet of non-binary identifiers. The same can’t be said of everyone, though. Non-binary has absolutely made the mainstream, and with it, the mainstream bullshit that goes with it, ie. There is only the binary and anyone trying to avoid it is just trying to get attention via being yet another special snowflake. Right?! When we did Episode Two of our podcast with Dance Movement Psychotherapist, Frank Farrugia, the conversation around the language of gender got some incredibly positive feedback, and a vast number of our listeners were struck by use of the term ‘post-gender’. For some, it was…

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Kink and Therapy

Let’s face it… It can be hard for people practicing kink to find a therapist who is not only going to be accepting of our degree of participation in the lifestyle, but comfortable hearing about some of the things we explore, and how this activity works with our mental health. Many of us have sought help at one time or another but find ourselves unsure how much we can tell them, and fearful that potential disclosures could lead to judgement, or even the loss of that therapist. It’s part of the lingering stigma we deal with in this community. Therapy isn’t cheap, but it’s an investment we make hoping for a great pay-off. It’s really important to invest in the right person for you. You don’t have to pay to be fearful of telling a traditional, straight, cis-male, full of Freudian wisdoms, about your love of masochism. In fact, there are therapies available that aren’t dependent on the tradition ‘talk’ methods eg….

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Our Kink Is Professional Submission – Podcast Three

As always, this week we’re joined by another delightful guest. This time it’s Aussie escort, pro-submissive, kinkster and international porn star, Marina Lee. Together we discuss Marina’s brand of submission and love of sex work, and explore how these two passions culminated to craft a niche that seeks to both satisfy and educate. And of course, there’s some juicy talk on the sexiness that is negotiation, and lots of chat on safety and sex worker rights.  

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Our Kink Is Self Care – Podcast Two

For Episode Two, Dance/Movement Psychotherapist, Frank Farrugia joins us to talk self care – why it’s so important, how we can enable it, and how it can change our lives when we do. Frank’s journey is fascinating to say the least, identifying as agender (or even postgender ) and recounting their upbringing in a cult-like environment through their self-discovery experience and beyond, their insights into self-care are hugely valuable. Find Frank in our Connections Kink-Friendly Directory here. Or visit intuitivepantomime.com.  

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Meet More Stars of Aussie Feminist Porn

At the moment the fastest growing audience for porn is women. This doesn’t come as much of a surprise when you consider they’re the biggest group to be excluded (as viewers), be it by societal taboos, film content, or physical accessibility. The internet changed all that; easy access (no more trips to the XXX Shoppe), more content than you could ever need, and a new idea of anonymity that allows many taboos to be dropped. Mainstream producers have tried to cash-in on this new audience, and have succeeded to varying degrees, but women are one of the biggest viewers of amateur porn, and male directors and producers trying to cater to what they’ve been told are female fantasies are often missing the point – the subject matter may be more appealing to women, but it’s still filmed via the masculine eye; the camera still looks to the places men see…

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Our Kink Is ‘The Bedroom’ – Podcast One

Welcome to Episode One! In this podcast Mistress Jane and MisKnickers chat with award-winning Melbourne filmmaker, Anna Brownfield about her latest creation, The Bedroom. We find out exactly what goes into making such spectacular smut, and investigate some of the ideals that go into creating Ethical Porn. There may also be some talk of suburban depravity and horror zombie porn…  

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Our Kink Is Showing You Where To Start

In our experience, lots of people have some degree of interest in some kind of kink —the giving or receiving of bondage, physical pain, role-play, dress-ups, dominance and/or submission; the list is pretty much endless. Socially we’ve shifted a bit in the last few years; a best-selling book and a feature film portraying an unsavoury version of BDSM, has at least stimulated conversation, and some of the myths surrounding a kink lifestyle have been challenged by those who live it. It’s also been several years since paraphilia—’unusual sexual fixations’ were redefined for The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Ed.5 (DSM-5). Psychiatrically, fetishes are only considered a problem if someone is hurt in the process. The taboos are dropping and people are feeling the freedom to explore. People are starting to accept that BDSM is not abuse (and if it is, it’s not BDSM). They’re beginning to come to comprehend…

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